Friday 21 October 2016

Umm... where exactly do you think you are?”

It’s always a good idea for shop owners to make it clear what they’re selling. If you make it look like a duck and make it walk like a duck, the chances are customers will realise you are actually selling ducks (obviously not literally, although I suppose there are people who sell ducks…).

Photo: Alexas-Fotos:Pixabay

I can’t fault TBE (aka The Boss Erratic) on this point (well, apart from not having a name above the door). The Out Of Favour shop is clearly a ladies clothes shop. There are helpful clues everywhere: there are ladies clothes hanging outside, there are ladies clothes hanging inside. There are ladies clothes on rails. There are ladies clothes on stands. There is pretty much nothing else in the shop but ladies clothes, scarves and jewellery (oh, and the world’s smallest café, but that’s easy to ignore so I’m going to). The message is nice and clear: this is a clothes shop. There is no room for confusion.

And yet……

A perfectly normal looking man came in the other day and asked if we sold microwaves.

I thought I’d heard wrong at first, so I made him repeat it. And yes, he definitely did say that. He definitely asked if we sold microwaves.


Given how obviously stressed/myopic/mentally challenged he was, and given my inability to answer such stupidly ignorant questions without sounding condescending, I tried very hard to be gentle and let him realise his mistake on his own. I didn’t reply. I simply waited patiently for him to cast his eyes about, clock all the clothes and accessories and realise his mistake.

But that didn’t happen. He didn't look around the shop. He just stared at me. 

Eventually I did a half arsed sort of waft with my arms to indicate the stuff we did sell, and that it was probably a bit rubbish for heating up a cheap ready meal. 

But it still didn’t do any good. He remained standing there, amongst the rails of clothes and scarves and jewellery, waiting for me to tell him whether we sold microwaves or not.

“No……..We don’t sell microwaves.”

He appeared incredibly disappointed; “Oh.”

Then he turned around and walked straight out of the shop. Without even saying goodbye, which I thought was a little bit rude. Maybe he was hangry*. After all, the poor bloke was so desperate for a means of cooking his dinner he was looking for a cooker in a clothes shop.

I’m fairly sure to this day he has no clue as to what type of shop he’d been into, or what type of goods we sold - but he must have realised one thing; it wasn't microwaves.

*Hungry and angry. It's a thing. Honestly.

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