Friday 10 March 2017

One is the loneliest number.....

Remember the saga of the café without a fridge? Remember the Milk Wars with TBE (aka The Boss Erratic)?

That’s got to be all over and done with by now, right?

I mean, come on; it’s been almost eight months! There just has to be a spanking new fridge sitting proudly in the Out Of Favour (OOF) shop kitchen by now, right? TBE must have stopped the farce of storing milk in a bowl of lukewarm water, right? Surely we’re keeping that all-important café milk refrigerated so it’s icy cold and super fresh, right?

Picture:WikiImages, Pixabay



Of course not. The Milk War is still raging. And, unbelievably, my opponents seem to be increasing.

Colleague Craft(y), the only other full-time member of staff, has decided to weigh in on The Dark Side. This is despite the fact she mostly inhabits the New Favourite Shop sewing froufrou cushions all day, and has only been on the staff five minutes. The very cheek.

(A bitter person might comment that the New Favourite Shop is for New Favourite shop staff, and the Out Of Favour shop is for, well, me. But that would be sulky and self-pitying…).

OK, so this is the boring background bit: The OOF shop is shut on Sundays and Mondays, so I always discard any remaining milk on Saturday night in order to prevent less scrupulous members of staff (i.e. TBE) from using it from Tuesday onwards – because, honestly, it’s not going to be at its best, is it?

This should be a no-brainer. There should be no issue. We shouldn’t even be discussing this.

But on Wednesday I came to work to find a note from Colleague Craft(y). She had evidently been working in the OOF shop the day before (Tuesday) and was confused (for I can only think her attitude stems from confusion; either that or immense stupidity) to find that I had thrown the milk away the previous Saturday. The note asked me to stop disposing of the milk at the end of a Saturday, and instead leave the milk in the bowl of water so that it could be used the following Tuesday.  

Et tu Colleague Craft(y)? Oh how disappointing.

Colleague Craft(y), doing what she does best
Photo:teetasse, Pixabay

And how disgusting: milk stored for three days at room temperature? Urgh! But perhaps the Listeria Twins think a few lumps of solid milk in the customers’ tea can’t hurt; after all, they can always fish it out with a spoon, can’t they?

But then, maybe that’s exactly the aim, after all, those lumps of milk will be solid protein! Customers could chew their drink and get a protein hit! Lumpy milk could become a selling phenomenon!  The Listeria Twins could flog Lumpy-Milk Tea to the yummy mummies as specialised protein shakes. Genius!

And then TBE could put the prices up.

Photo:PublicDomainPictures, Pixabay

You may think it’s total nonsense, but don’t dismiss it; TBE really is capable of most things if she thinks she can get away with it - I put a Twitter post up this week, describing how TBE donated a basket of artisan packet teas to a local charity auction – and every single packet was out of date.

It’s good to give.

Still, it is a bit of a kick in the teeth to realise I am the only one in this company who has not turned to The Dark Side; that I, alone, stand on the side of righteousness, fairness, and not getting the arse-sued-off-us-for-food-poisoningness.

I feel like some sort of lone crusader fighting against the evils of dodgy guts and the unhealthy, sloppy and immoral practices of TBE and her protégé.

I am The Anti-Sloppy Crusader.

And my lot is a lonely one

Photo, wallstrand, Pixabay


  1. We appreciate your lonely crusade to keep us from listeria and salmonella. Stay strong Shopgirl!

    1. Thank you! The Anti-Sloppy Crusader will never give up!