Friday 28 October 2016

I’ve got the ghost of a Feeling…but it might just be wind

How come those customers (you know the ones) always pick the exact day I really, really want to leave on time to come in near closing and be weird?  How do they know I’ve got tickets for a show and need to be on a train within 45 minutes of closing time? How do they know!? It’s spooky…..

This time it was a mother and daughter. They came in fifteen minutes before the shop was due to shut, looked briefly and disinterestedly at the stock (‘Yay!’ I thought. ‘They’re obviously not going to stay long….’), and then the mother asked to sit down (12 minutes to closing and counting). 

Friday 21 October 2016

Umm... where exactly do you think you are?”

It’s always a good idea for shop owners to make it clear what they’re selling. If you make it look like a duck and make it walk like a duck, the chances are customers will realise you are actually selling ducks (obviously not literally, although I suppose there are people who sell ducks…).

Photo: Alexas-Fotos:Pixabay

Friday 14 October 2016

Warm and fuzzy; and that’s just the milk..

So, the gloriously refurbished Out Of Favour shop was reopened, with fancy wallpaper, gorgeous displays of jewellery and scarves, beautiful clothing, and a sweet little vintage café area in the corner. Customers think this is marvellous. They love sitting on a vintage chair at a vintage table and having coffee and cake from vintage china (well, vintage style. In reality it all comes from Ikea). And who doesn’t love coffee and cake on vintage china? But pull back the curtain and the shoddy workings are revealed: the refurbished Out Of Favour shop has no fridge.

Friday 7 October 2016

Queen Cnute is in the house…

I saw her coming up the road from a long way away.

There is something about a seasoned eccentric that allows you to clock them even when they are much too far away to focus on properly. In her case it was probably something to do with the odd looking battered straw hat, the unusual looking wicker shopping basket, the mismatched clothing and the way she was muttering angrily to herself that gave the game away.

(Note: I’m not saying wicker baskets are a sign of window lickers per se. In fact, I have one, generously given to me by my mother in law, and I love it).

Photo: ATDSphoto: Pixabay