Safety procedures? Us? Ooo, you are funny!

New people have moved into the office upstairs. One came down to ask about our fire safety procedures:

Who was our fire warden?

How often did we have fire drills?

Where were our fire alarms?

When was our next fire safety check due?

I stared at him blankly for a few long seconds and then shrugged. Which, in hindsight, was probably not very helpful or reassuring to him.

Picture: Stock Up: New Old Stock

Nevertheless, he continued to stand there looking expectantly at me, and I realised this man was not going to give up and go away. He was an office man; a proper job in a proper business. A man who was clearly used to correct procedures and working practices in accordance with Health and Safety guidelines and employment law.

Quite reasonably, he assumed The Out of Favour Shop to be the same.

Ah, poor, deluded soul.

Of course, I couldn’t give him any of the information he asked for. We’ve never had a fire drill, or a fire safety talk. We have no fire extinguisher, and given there is only one of us in the shop at any one time, nominating a designated fire warden seems a bit pointless. What if it’s their day off? The Out of Favour Shop is basically a 40m² box with a front door, a tiny loo and a galley kitchen.

Still, Upstairs Office Geek did have a point: if a fire starts in The Out of Favour shop, then the office above us is at risk. Ah well; one to pass on to The Boss Erratic. I’m sure she’ll get onto it straight away…………