Friday 5 May 2017

Music music everywhere, and you’ve had too much to drink

Oh dear, the Upstairs Office Geeks aren’t very happy. 

They keep complaining about our music. Apparently it’s too loud, too bass-y……… just too music-y.

Is it wrong of me to find this wickedly funny and deliciously amusing? After all, they knew perfectly well the office was above a shop when they moved in.

But it seems the Upstairs Office Geeks don’t quite live in the same world the rest of us do. They’re sort of halfway there; they look normal (mostly), and they speak normally (well, some of them), but they don’t quite achieve full-on, “Yeah, we get life. We’re good at life.” It’s a bit like a Venn diagram.

A Venn diagram

Their finest moment came pretty much as soon as they moved in.

One of their number, clearly in some agitated distress, entered the shop next door and asked the manager whether the building opposite was usually so noisy, with large crowds gathered outside, and how often these disturbances were likely to happen.

Next Door Manager looked a bit confused, then found herself having to explain to Upstairs Office Geek that the crowds were in fact a wedding party; that the noise was in fact wedding bells, and as they had moved across the road from a wacking great church in the run-up to the spring and summer rush, then the ‘disturbances’ - i.e. weddings - were, all in probability, going to be repeated fairly frequently. Apparently Upstairs Office Geek seemed genuinely dismayed and mystified.

Not as mystified as the manager, obviously.

I am not entirely without sympathy; I do know noise travels through our ceiling/their floor, because I know the peeing patterns of every single one of them. I know whether they’ve had that extra cup of coffee in the morning, or whether they’ve been too busy to bother the water cooler all day.

And don’t even mention high fibre lunches to me.

Original picture: 3dman_eu, Pixabay

Still, they did move in above a shop! And to her credit TBE (aka The Boss Erratic) has pointed out this was their choice. She also told them she pays for a licence to play music, which I don’t believe for a minute. Requiring a licence and having a licence will be two very different things in the alternative universe of TBE’s head. ‘Required’ in TBE language means, ‘only if you’re unable to get away with doing it cheaper and with less effort some other way’.

The music does seems to be upsetting the Upstairs Office Geeks, though, and it’s forcing them out of their reclusive shells….

A very angry man I had never seen before (but in all likelihood have probably heard pee) burst into the shop whilst I was mid conversation with a customer. Without introduction he demanded that I turn the music down. When I politely declined, pointing out that this was a retail outlet, that the music contributed to the ambience, and that they had moved in above us, not vice versa, he turned slightly pink, revealing that intense anger geeks with persecution complexes tend to possess and usually slightly inappropriately apply, and blurted out,

“I thought you’d say that. I don’t have to be nice, you know!” Then he just sort of walked off in a huff.

Picture: Clker-Free-Vector-Images, Pixabay

Well, after such an almighty drubbing I felt chastened; put in my place, well and truly told. It almost ruined my tea break (actually, that’s a lie. I don’t get a tea break, as well you know). 

When I told everyone later I’d had a geek in a tiff in the shop that day, they all thought I’d had some fancy dessert. 

Now that would’ve been nice.


  1. Excellent! How dare you disturb their geek-hermitry?!

    Atwooki :-)

    1. But surely even they know what a big stone building with a spire and dead bodies in the back garden is all about?!